Lonely
by Artistically Insightful
Summary: Trevor does drugs to help with his painful memories. His loneliness is worsening and it's messing with him and he just doesn't know how to cope anymore. Warning: Drug use and Depresssion


**Something bad has just happened to me so I'm in a very dark head space. I'm writing this to let these feelings out. The song is Lonely by Yael Naim.**

* * *

'You are not alone. I am here with you'

Trevor laid in his bed cuddled up with Mr. Raspberry Jam. The bear keeping him company, Trevor tried to stop the thoughts from coming back. The thoughts of Michael. He missed his friend. He was glad that Michael was alive but pissed that he had been lied to. He was alone, not even Mikey wanted him. Ron thought that he knew him the way Mikey did. He did not. No one knew him like Mikey. The only other thing that knew him well was Mr. Raspberry Jam.

'Even when you're scared  
I'll never leave you'

Trevor curled up in his bed fighting back tears. He needed human contact or he would go insane. He needed love. Someone that gave a damn. Someone to hold on to. Why does everyone he love abandon him.

'Standing in a storm'

A cry ripped from the back of his throat at the thought of his 'best friend/boyfriend' being alive all of this time and leaving him feeling this abandoned for years.

'Making it insane once again'

Trevor screamed letting out his pent up frustration. All he wanted to do was smash everything in sight He screamed,''FUCK YOU MIKEY! FUCK YOU DAD! FUCK YOU RYAN! FUCK EVERYBODY! ASSHOLES EVERYONE!''

He growled bolting up to find his syringe.

'I will try to enchain you'

He sat on his couch closing his eyes preparing to shoot up. He needed an escape. He let let the liquid go into his veins and sighed leaning back waiting for his high.

'But you open your eyes to the sky  
And whisper'

Trevor felt warmth surround him as the drug took effect. He let out a sigh of relief. His vision started to ripple. It rippled out of control and then started to settle. When it settled he saw someone sitting on the couch with him. It was Michael. Michael sat there smiling at him. Michael looked the same way he did in the 80's. Mikey was really into Glam rock at this time and even had the long hair to match his metalhead get up. He wore an Aerosmith shirt and blue jeans. He then spoke,''Wow Trevor. You look so down...What's wrong?'' 80's Michael tried to touch his cheek but Trevor jumped away and screamed,''Don't you fucking touch me! After all the lies you told me!''

'That you are so lonely'

80's Michael looked up at him so confused,''What are you talkin' about man? We're chill bros right? Fam-

''Don't you fucking dare! I- I...'' Trevor crumbled to his knees,''Love me Michael! Don't leave me! LOVE ME!''

'You are so alone  
You're so alone  
You're so lonely, so lonely'

The young Michael caressed Trevor's cheek,''I'm not going anywhere. I love you Trevor. I'll always be here.''

'So I'm coloring my face  
While I am here with you  
Imagining the landscapes of your sorrow  
Is it yellow or blue?'

''Touch me more Mikey! Prove to me you'll stay! I'll do anything! Anything! Just stay! I'm so lonely. I need something! Someone! I'm tired of being betrayed! I've stayed so loyal to you!''

'Coloring the sky, and the trees  
And the clouds, and the moonlight  
I'd color your heart  
If you didn't, hide it'

Young Michael looked uncomfortable. Trevor grabbed his thighs,''Please Michael! I need you! I need you!''

Young Michael leans in and kisses Trevor and cuddles him close,''I'll never leave this time Trevor. I promise.''

Now you are so lonely  
You are so alone  
You're so alone  
You're so lonely, so lonely

The rippled vision returned and now Michael was nowhere to be found. Trevor clutched his head and let out a shrill scream throwing everything near him around. He needed something! Something to end this pain. He heard someone else in his trailer and felt hands restraining him. He flailed but other hands held him down as well.

''Oh God Trevor what did you take!?'' He heard a male voice exclaim. When he looked at the person what he saw was a blank face. Without eyes and a fucked up mouth. The person had a white face that looked as if it was melting away,''Get away from me! Reptilian! I know what you really are!''

The person shook their head,''Trevor just try to relax.

'You are so alone  
You're so  
You're so lonely, so lonely'

''Where's Michael! Get me Michael! I need him!'' Trevor bursted out crying,''I NEED HIM! I need him. please. I can't the pain is too fucking much.'' Trevor says before punching the wall that was nearest to him out of rage.

''Okay okay Trevor we'll call Michael okay. Just lay down and think about happy thoughts like hookers and ice cream okay?'' Another voice advised.

'And I wish you could just find home'

''Michael...'' Was the last thing Trevor whispered before passing out.

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Lol my 80's headcanon though XD I might write a sequel for this where he meets with Michael and they get everything out and it will be angsty and emotional and all that shit.


End file.
